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26 November 2009 @ 02:11 am
Already Over  
Title: Already Over
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: NC17
Summary: By getting Dean to talk about what happened to him in hell, Sam thought it would help. He was wrong.
Disclaimer: Totally not mine. Don't rub it in.
Warnings: Evil!Dean, very mild blood-play, slight dub-con
Author's notes: A long overdue dedication story for my friend karesu. Because she's awesome and sweet and completely patient with me. Thanks for all of that, honey! You're the best and I hope you like this ;)
Also many thanks to my Sammy atsugari8 for giving me her input on this. Couldn't have done it without you ;)

Sam pushed his foot harder on the gas, accelerating the Impala even further as they sped along twisting back roads with only the headlights to guide them. Dirt flew up wildly in their wake, distorting the glow of the rear lights outside the back window.

In the back seat, Dean reclined calmly as though they weren’t going twenty miles over the suggested speed limit. A little black flashlight was lying on his stomach to illuminate the interior of the car just enough so that he could make out the details of the weapon in his hand.

He held up the knife he’d started to favor recently at arm’s length, the slightly curved blade almost completely stained with quickly drying blood.

“Do you remember my first kill, Sam?” he asked idly, twisting his wrist left and right, fascinated by the play of the flashlight bulb off the crimson stain.

“Of course I do, Dean,” Sam replied stiffly. He kept glancing in the mirrors, trying to squint through the dust, terrified that at any moment red and blue flashing lights would appear behind them. Although he still refused to slow down. “I’ll never forget.”

“You shouldn’t.” Dean sat up and leaned forward, placing his mouth near Sam’s ear, “after all, you’re the reason for it, little brother.”

Sam’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles white.

“Shouldn’t have made me talk,” Dean’s sing-song tone was full of amusement. He draped himself over the back of the front seat, the hand that rested near Sam’s side still loosely clutching the knife.

“I just wanted to help you, Dean.”

“Sorry to disappoint, Doctor Phil, but caring and sharing doesn’t always make things better.” He grinned and nuzzled the side of his brother’s neck, earning a curse from Sam as Dean’s teeth nipped the skin. “You should have seen the look on your face when I told you how much I learned to like torturing people in Hell. It was so funny.”

Sam jerked away from him then cursed again as the action caused the car to swerve a little.

Dean laughed and settled back. “Careful, Sammy. You’ll get us arrested.”

In the silence that followed, Dean once more enraptured by his bloody weapon, Sam mentally beat himself up for the umpteenth time for what he had done.


“Stop coddling him, Dean,” John said, watching in disapproval as his boys interacted. “He has to learn to do right without you praising him for every little thing.”

Dean frowned at their father, not releasing the seven year old from the circle of his arms despite John’s stern look. “Sammy likes it when I hug him.”

The younger boy nodded his agreement, clinging to Dean’s waist like one of those stuffed monkeys with the Velcro hands.

“I know but you’re both too old for that now. You’re going to be hunters and hunters have to be strong on their own. You and Sam can’t rely so much on physical feelings because if you do, you become each other’s weakness. Demons and monsters will exploit that to their advantage. You don’t want to cause each other to get hurt, do you?”

Dean and Sam shook their heads no, and reluctantly released each other.

That night when Sam had a nightmare that caused him to wake up crying, Dean was quick to get into bed with him. Despite John’s scolding they didn’t any of that up until they were seventeen and thirteen respectively.

“You’re too old to get in bed with me anymore, Sammy,” Dean told his brother firmly.

And along with going on hunts, Dean had started to harden himself against affection. Especially from Sam.

Sam was hurt, of course, but he quickly realized that Dean was trying harder to be like John than anything else he’d ever done. And that meant building a wall around his heart that not even his little brother could penetrate.

But part of being a hunter was learning how to read people, and Sam found that he was very good at that. It was the easiest to use that skill on Dean, since the two of them were so close anyway.

“I wish you’d talk to me,” Sam ventured one day when he was sixteen and Dean twenty.

“I talk to you on a daily basis,” Dean replied distractedly around a mouthful of chips, his eyes on the static picture that passed for their television. “It gets tiring after awhile.”

“I’m serious, Dean. All these hunts we go on, they’re affecting you. Changing you. I can see how you carry yourself when they’re over.”

“Are you saying I can’t handle it?” Dean asked, voice lowering in annoyance. He turned his head to glare at his brother. Hunting was something Dean took intense pride in.

“No, it’s not that,” Sam replied quickly. The last thing he wanted was a fight because it would just shut Dean off more from him. “But no one is able to just walk away from every hunt without being scarred in some way. Even the toughest of hunters like dad break sometimes.”

“Is this some psychologist bullshit that you learned in those prissy, advanced classes you’re taking in school? Because I’m not some fucking homework assignment, Sam.”

“No, Dean. It’s not that--” Sam tried to assure, but the stony look on his brother’s face made it clear that the subject was closed. With a sigh, Sam shook his head and went to his room.

Conversation over.

After their four years spent apart, Sam wasn’t surprised to realize that he could still read Dean as though he was an open book.

And so it was clear how much pain Dean was going through when he returned from hell. Sam of course noticed all the drinking Dean did, sometimes downing shot after shot and bottle after bottle of alcohol until he passed out for the night.

It was obvious that he was doing it to escape his personal demons, and like always Sam just wanted to help him. So he asked and asked about hell, just as Uriel had convinced him to.

Surprisingly and unlike their younger days, Dean finally told him about what had been done to him down below, and then what he had in turn done to other souls. Pleased and believing they had made progress, Sam honestly thought it would not necessarily making Dean feel better, because it wasn’t that simple, but he thought that Dean could finally be on the road to mental recovery.

Oh, he knew that it wouldn’t make everything Sunshine and Daisies. Dean had been tortured and put back together for so many years before he finally broke. Sam didn’t blame him for that.

How could he blame his brother for something he suffered just because he had wanted to bring Sam back to him?

What bothered Sam about that the most was that he didn’t know where he himself had gone when he died. With his life, he seriously doubted that he had been in heaven. But the point was he didn’t remember, while Dean suffered day in and day out because he did remember.

Then the killings started.


The bar was like any small town hangout, complete with round wooden tables and creaking, half broken chairs that wobbled. The stools at the bar were worn from too many butts and falling apart in places.

Sam expected that the bartender would be one of those older men with a large beer belly, a receding hairline, and a gruff attitude. Instead it was the complete opposite - an extremely attractive woman with dark red hair, a curvy body, thick, shiny lips and cleavage that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

Exactly Dean’s type of bar skank.

After the initial round of pool to both earn them money and impress any woman watching, Dean made his way over the bar and started the flirting game.

Sam nursed his beer from the end of the bar counter, watching his brother with both boredom and annoyance.

One of these days he’s going to get an itchy STD and I’ll be the one who has to hear him whine about it, Sam complained to himself.

Although a case of the crabs might do Dean some good. Not to mention the humor factor Sam would undoubtedly find in it.

Exhaustion from the day’s hunt catching up with him, Sam tapped his knuckles three times against the wooden surface in front of him. Even across the busy bar, Dean heard and turned his head towards him.

It was a signal they had established growing up, since Sam really didn’t want to interrupt Dean’s conquest-in-progress. He had enough things in his life to be disturbed about without hearing his brother’s cheesy pick-up lines that somehow always worked.

The two of them locked eyes, Sam tilted his head towards the door, and Dean nodded before turning back to his playmate of the evening.

Sam climbed to his feet and made his way out of the building, taking a deep breath once he got outside to rid himself of the scent of old beer, stale smoke, and the hint of vomit that always seeped through the air of any place alcohol was served.

In the motel room they had reserved before going out for drinks, Sam rechecked the salt lines at the door and window, used the bathroom then crashed onto the mattress that was furthest from the door. The ancient television he’d clicked on became little more than background noise as Sam toed of his boots and pulled the bedcovers over his body, already half asleep.

He awoke at three in the morning to the key turning in the lock. His brother’s familiar scent drifted into the room - a mixture of gun oil, leather, hair gel and cologne - as the door opened and shut.

Sam pulled his blanket further over his shoulder and started to fall asleep again as he heard the rustling of clothing being taken off and tossed aside.

His eyes shot open when the mattress dipped behind him but before Sam could turn over Dean laid flush against his back and slid his arm around Sam’s waist.

“Mmmm..” Dean purred, nuzzling his face into the back of Sam’s neck. “You smell good, Sammy.”

“What the hell are you doing, Dean?” Sam attempted to shove his brother off, but Dean clung tighter.

Sam was in his boxers, and he could clearly feel that Dean was at least dressed similarly, the bare skin of his chest warm against Sam’s naked back.

With his brother insisting on being so close, a new scent assaulted Sam’s senses. A metallic one that he identified in half a second because he had been exposed to it for more years than he wanted to think about.


Twisting violently around, Sam almost knocked both Dean and himself off the bed in his attempt to turn on the nearby lamp and see Dean.

The weak yellow light was enough to illuminate the dark red stains on Dean’s body, and a quick glance at the discarded clothes near the door revealed that they too were coated in blood.

“Dean! What happened? Where are you hurt?” Sam asked frantically, shoving Dean onto his back in his desperate attempt to find a wound.

Dean chuckled, licking his lips. He was completely naked - cock half hard against his flat belly as he allowed Sam to touch him.

“Calm down, Sammy. It’s not mine.”

“You were in a fight? One of the bar patrons?”

“No and yes.”

“Damn it, Dean! Just tell me!” Sam attempted to sit up but Dean grabbed his arms, flipping them both over in a quick move so that Sam was lying on the bed and his brother was straddling his hips.

Dean grinned down at him, the darkness in his eyes making Sam’s blood run cold. He had never seen his brother look so malicious.

“You’re not Dean,” he insisted in a near whisper. Immediately his mind started to frantically figure out how to get away and how to find his brother.

“Of course I am, Sammy,” Dean laughed. “I crossed the salt lines didn’t I? And let’s face it, if I wasn’t me you would have known right off the bat. Just like with the skin walker. No one knows me like you.”

Keeping Sam pinned, Dean reached up with one hand and swiped his fingers over a streak of blood on his chest. He then traced his fingers over Sam’s cheeks like a woman applying blush.

Sam jerked away in horror and disgust. “Dean, stop it! Get off me!”

“You should have been there, Sammy,” Dean purred, dragging his lips over Sam’s jaw line. He hard on a spot just below. “She screamed so pretty.”

“The bartender?” Sam jerked his head away.

“Mmhmm.. The look on her face when I pulled out my knife.. She was so scared. Tried to scream. To run. But I convinced her to stay.”

Sam had a few ideas on Dean’s method of ‘convincing’. He braced his feet against the mattress and surged up, knocking Dean off of him. Quickly Sam attempted to escape again, but Dean recovered and they wrestled over the squeaking bed, both fighting for dominance.

Sam released a grunt as he was shoved roughly onto his stomach, Dean’s body stretched along his back. He jerked in surprise as a warm tongue trailed over the backs of his shoulders, Dean’s hips lazily rocking his hard cock against Sam’s cloth covered ass crack.

“The first cut I made was the best,” Dean said dreamily. He yanked Sam’s arms over his head and secured them to the headboard with one of their belts. “Do you have any idea how much blood gushes out of even a shallow wound, if you make it in the right place?”

“I have a vague idea,” Sam replied breathlessly, worn out from their fight. Even after all that time in hell, Dean’s body was still physically stronger than his.

“And if you angle the body right, the blood trails down so pretty in a thick stream. Just like a river.”

“Something you learned in torture class one-oh-one?” Sam tried to remain calm and think of a way out, even as his instinct was to panic.

If he had known what his brother would have become this.. He never would have.. What? Had him talk? Not talking about what happened had been destroying Dean. Was that better than what having talked about it turned him into?

“Dean,” he pleaded desperately, “you’re not like this! You don’t kill innocent people!”

Dean laughed. He yanked Sam up onto his knees, the strain on his bound arms making his shoulders burn, and with one quick pull ripped Sam’s black underwear right off him in two pieces. His hands trailed over the twin globes of his ass, thumbs delving in between to tease at the puckered skin of his entrance.

“That’s where you’re wrong, baby boy,” he purred. “I’m everything a killer is supposed to be. And I love it.”

Sam cried out as his brother’s tongue shoved into his ass, hips instinctively bucking. Dean’s hands grabbed his thighs, holding Sam in place as he fucked his tongue in and out of him as far as it would go.

“Fuck yeah..” Dean moaned as he pulled his mouth away. He parted Sam’s cheeks and spat onto the glistening hole, using two fingers to shove the spit into his brother’s trembling body. “The girl’s name was Samantha. Isn’t that ironic? Don’t worry, she wasn’t as pretty as you.”

“Stop it, Dean,” Sam hissed.

“But she wasn’t who I wanted, Sammy. Not really. You, on the other hand, I knew from the day you hit puberty that I would have you beneath me some day. I just never could act on it. That’s the real reason I wouldn’t let you come to my bed at night anymore when you had a nightmare.”

Dean twisted his fingers hard inside of Sam’s body, making his brother jerk and cry out in surprised pleasure when Dean found his prostate.

“It’s amazing how differently I feel now.”

Dean pulled his fingers free with a wet pop from Sam’s already swollen anus. Spitting onto the palm of his hand, he rubbed it over the length of his hard, dripping dick. Taking hold of the base, Dean lined himself up and shoved into Sam’s body with one hard thrust.

Sam cried out and tried to pull away, curses of pain falling in rabid succession from his lips but Dean’s hands on his hips held him firm.

“So damn tight, Sammy,” Dean grunted, rocking a little from side to side. “Just as I knew you would be.”

Practically pulling Sam onto his lap, Dean started to thrust fast and hard. The squeaking of the old motel bed was in sync with the hard slap, slap, slap of Dean’s hips against Sam’s ass.

Sam twisted his hands and held on tight to the headboard, trying to ignore each startling stab of pleasure that shot through him as the bulbous head of Dean’s dick struck his prostate, but despite his efforts his own cock fully hardened and swayed beneath his rocking body like a pendulum.

Dean’s hand wound beneath him, fingers curling around the wide girth. He stroked from root to tip, taking the same speed as his own hips.

Hating himself, Sam arched into the warm, callused hand. All he could think of was the forbidden pleasure that he was feeling.

And from Dean’s moans and words of encouragement in his ear, Dean felt the same way.

Just as Sam was falling towards the brink of release, Dean yanked out of his body. The belt was removed from Sam’s aching, torn wrists and he was turned on his back. Dean grabbed Sam under his knees and shoved his legs up, pushing his dick back into his brother’s body.

Sam arched his back, gripping the sheet on either side of his body so tightly that his fingers started to feel numb. He kept his eyes squeezed shut tightly.

“Look at me, Sammy,” Dean demanded.

At Sam’s failure to comply, Dean pulled his cock out all the way and slammed back inside him. Sam screamed and his eyes flew open.

Dean was covered in drying blood from his face all the way down his chest and arms. The splatters looked like something from a horror film.

“Dean..” Sam was horrified, his dick quickly becoming flaccid.

“Nu uh, little brother.” Dean’s hand wrapped tight around Sam’s cock, jerking it roughly back to full hardness. “Starting tonight you’re going to learn to like this. Because you and I? We’re going to start having a little more fun with the locals.”

Sam came first, his semen splashing in thick white ropes between them. Moments later he felt Dean do the same inside of him, Sam’s name falling from Dean’s lips like a prayer.


That kill had been Dean’s first, but far from the last. He’d been finding victims in every place they stopped. Big towns, little towns, cities, suburbs. None of it mattered. Women would always be attracted to Dean and he would have his fun with them, then discard their corpses like useless garbage.

Sam glanced in the rearview mirror. Dean’s eyes were closed and his breathing slow, signaling he was sleeping peacefully.

It had crossed Sam’s mind once, only briefly, to do something about Dean’s behavior. Turn him in or kill him. But as soon as the thought had hit him it had left. Sam couldn’t do either and he knew it.

Dean was not just his brother, he was his everything. And vice versa.

Besides, Dean was right. All of it was Sam’s fault. His fault Dean died and had to suffer, and his fault that Dean had become a killer.

Most of their lives it was Dean who had to take care of Sam. Picked up the pieces of his little brother and held them together with his bare hands. Now it was Sam’s turn to do it for Dean.

Even if it turned them into something that destroyed everything they had grown up learning to protect.

With the apocalypse looming over their heads, the world was basically over anyway. Might as well enjoy the ride.

Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Owl City: Fireflies
prophetofdoomy: Squeeprophetofdoomy on November 26th, 2009 08:33 am (UTC)
OMG LOVE LOVE LOVE Evil!Dean XD Great job!
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:39 pm (UTC)
thank you! I love evil!Dean too! ;D
(Deleted comment)
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:39 pm (UTC)
thanks! ;) yeah I agree, top!Dean has quickly become the minority and it's a damn shame =/
auryn_wrenauryn_wren on November 26th, 2009 10:01 am (UTC)
OMG Evil!Dean... and damn, what an evil!Dean it was! So good!

Any more planned? I'd like to see Castiel's reaction to the new Winchesters...

kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:41 pm (UTC)
thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it ;) it definitely would be interesting to see Castiel's reaction to Sam and Dean's new way of life, but knowing me and wips it probably won't happen. unless I really get the urge ;)
MacByrnemacbyrne on November 26th, 2009 11:19 am (UTC)
Wow, this is so damn dark and sad! I like how you showed how Hell affected Dean; I think this reaction is probably more realistic than what was shown on SPN! Great job!
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:42 pm (UTC)
thank you! ;) I totally agree. they wasted so much potential on the show by only having Dean drink a lot after he came back from hell. I mean, the guy was tortured and then tortured others. he should have come back with a darker streak! =)
rockstarpeach: rockstar deanrockstarpeach on November 26th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC)
Wow, I don't think I've ever read evil!Dean before, and I gotta say, I like this idea. The reversal of what you usually see is a nice change. Plus, you know, hot :)

Really liked it. Thanks for sharing!
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:43 pm (UTC)
thanks! I'm happy you liked it ;D really? I adore evil!Dean. he's sexy as a good guy and even sexier as a bad guy, in my opinion ;)
Mystik Ivanow: Dean Winchestermystik_ivanow on November 26th, 2009 03:13 pm (UTC)
Dear, I'm having a serious evil!Dean kink for days now, how did you guess? xD

I loved and I would love to see a sequel when Sam finally succumbs to the dark side. 8D *winkwink of evil*

awesome as always!
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:44 pm (UTC)
gah, sorry it took me so long to respond honey. for some reason all of the reviews of this story didn't get responded to until now =/

no one can deny the kink that is evil!Dean xD

sequels don't work in my world of craziness xDD

I'm thrilled you liked it, sweetie! ;D

Edited at 2010-07-19 03:45 pm (UTC)
angelwatcher17angelwatcher17 on November 26th, 2009 03:35 pm (UTC)
Christ on a bike....that was hot!!! and painful...and amazing!!!
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:45 pm (UTC)
thanks so much!! ;D
karesu: Sunshinekaresu on November 26th, 2009 07:15 pm (UTC)
Totally worth the wait, my goodness. That was everything I wanted and more! evil!Dean is awesome and there needs to be more of him and you did it so perfectly. It was hot and sad and just... -dies to happiness-

Thank you so much for writing this for me!! Once again totally worth the wait, I absolutely adored it.
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:46 pm (UTC)
I'm very thrilled you liked it, hon! I enjoyed writing it once my muse stopped being a bitch xD *revives you* you must live! xD

you're totally welcome, sweetie! you deserved a tribute to your amazingness ;)
ariellea4ariellea4 on November 26th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
WOW. I love your Dark!Dean and Sam not being able to leave Dean. I really like this story because it touches on a problem I had with last season's Dean. Namely that he spent 40 years in Hell (ten of which he spent torturing people with Alastair training him!) but somehow he comes out with no real change in his personality nor gains any demonic attributes/desires. It seemed very unlike to me given the nature of the show.
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
thank you! I'm thrilled you liked my dark!Dean ;D

I know!! it totally bugged me that Dean didn't act any darker than normal after all that time spent in hell. it was a totally wasted opportunity for the writers. how can anyone spend all that time being tortured, and then torturing others, and not change? =/
Aliciaextremespndiva on November 26th, 2009 10:52 pm (UTC)
Holy shit! LOVED this!!
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
thank you! ;)
pattyposhpattyposh on November 27th, 2009 01:12 am (UTC)
oh god i fucking love evil!dean.
this was spine-tingling and amazing and
horrifying all at the same time.
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
I love evil!Dean too! there needs to be more of him ;D thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked it ;D
adictd2life on November 27th, 2009 03:18 am (UTC)
Wow. This is so well done. And wow- speechless.
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
thanks! ;D
Fetish ~ # 1 Die-Hard Dean Girl & Misha fan: Fetish's BeautifulBondage SAMMYdeans_fetish on November 27th, 2009 09:37 am (UTC)
I simply had to read as one of my favorite things is an Evil!Dean taking his Sammy. *g* Mmm... YUM YUM YUM

This was very nicely done, bb!
Thank you for sharing!
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:49 pm (UTC)
that is quite delicious! ;) thank you, honey!! I'm honored you think so ;D and your icon makes me drool ;D
atsugari8atsugari8 on November 27th, 2009 01:55 pm (UTC)
Firstly, thank you sweetie for the a/n mention of moi. Too sweet of you :).

Secondly, I loved the new edition to the story. It just went a little deeper into showing why Sam can read Dean so well :D. I also loved the mentioning of the monkey with velcro hands cause guess what? i used to have one when I was little! i actually had a lot of monkey stuffed toys xD

Lovely sweetie :)

ekaantaekaanta on November 28th, 2009 06:45 am (UTC)
Holy blond cheerleaders, Batman! That last line just about killed me!

Loved it sweetie! :X
kiraynnkiraynn on July 19th, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
xDDD you're so awesome, honey xD thank you! ;)